(Source: consequences-of-my-actions)
(Source: keithmajorphoto)
Today was pretty good even though it didn’t look like it would be. My plans this am got completely derailed and I woke up to bs I didn’t feel like getting woken up to. But…once my day really got started and I stopped worrying about my morning, I completely forgot about it. I really enjoyed the rest of my day. I didn’t worry about anything or care about anything outside of what was going on at the moment.
My day was good, that’s all I really care about. Seriously. I mean my surprise was ruined but it was good.
I just let out a lot of foul feelings I’ve been having about my friends. Some feelings I’ve had for a month, some a couple of weeks, and some an entire semester. I don’t think I’ve worked through it all but tonight was definitely a start to seeing why I feel like disconnecting with the people who say they know me.
I’ve been feeling like going into an isolation and just cutting myself off from the people who say they love me. Of course my sister isn’t included but then again, she’s probably the only person who isn’t making me feel some kind of way.
I feel like I’m constantly lied to by two of my friends, and I feel like I’m stopping my other friends growth because I coddle and am too soft with them. I feel like I’m halting that person and making it harder for them to grow up in certain things. That person disappointed me, well maybe more than disappointed me recently, and it made me realize that we all have hard lessons to learn and that I could have helped that friend learn in that situation. But I’m always so ….protective that I feel it’s turning into a hindrance.
The other two, I have no idea what to even do with. I feel more like we’re acquaintance’s than we are friends. I really hate being lied to and I feel like there’s a lot of that going on lately. One friend definitely more than the other. I feel like I’m there out of convenience and what they have time for after they indulge themselves and everyone else. I don’t know if this just me or if anyone else has been feeling the strain. I feel like I’ve been put on the back burner. I feel like this happens every year with the same people. It’s as if everyone just decides that our relationships can take care of themselves and we’ll all become bff’s once the season is just about over.
I don’t want to rant but I just don’t get it. I’ve gotten in trouble so many times to prove to these people that I’m worth the effort and that I’m worth their friendship and that I’m worth NOT being on the back burner. Yet I always manage to end up on that very same spot. It’s exhausting and it hurts so I’m done and I’m tired. I’m not doing anymore family
LMFBO, this just made my entire day
I’m Anti bullying. But I’m also Pro Stand-up-for-yourself
(Source: theerex-t)
(Source: synodik)
